April 27th 2010

Today I was nervous, had a lot of tests for a sore jaw. However my brother and I went along to the Maxiofacial unit and waited my turn. My name was called and I followed this little nurse to see the consultant. I sat and listened as he explained he knew why I had a sore face and why I had the swelling and how it had nothing to do with a basic sore jaw or toothache. He went on to tell me I had a tumour between my skull and brain and showed me pictures of it on his computer. I just sat there dumstruck didnt know what to say or think. He kept saying "Mandy, do you know what I'm telling you, do you understand"? I said yes, I have a brain tumour. I believed he couldnt understand my reaction, was I supposed to cry I don,t know. He explained he had already passed the file to a neurologist and he would be in touch in a week or so, after having what is called an MDT (multidisciplinary  team meeting) with other members of the surgical team required for my tumour. I thanked him for his time and calmly walked out of his room.  I went through to the waiting area where my brother was waiting for me and called to him. We walked together to the main door and I told him " I have a brain tumour" I burst in to tears at this point and we sat at the nearest chairs. His arm around me saying "it's ok it will be ok". I couldnt believe it, here I was a maths tutor with a brain tumour, my whole life, my whole world was about to turn upside down.